Pizza-base of happiness

What is (longterm) happiness reliant on?
On me being happy of course.
However, basing happiness on something/someone has a catch. When that something disappears, happiness goes with it.
Soever a bad idea.

Definitely, happiness is amped when I have what I want, and I wouldn’t want to live without what I wanted because that makes me happy.
Want – have – happiness, not-happiness, want – have – happiness, not-happiness, want …
The frequency of life. Roll-er-coast-er.

I pursue happiness. I run after it. Sometimes I catch it. I find that ‘…happiness…’ and I am ecstatically happy. Forever. Yeah really! — ?
I’ve got health, job, girl, cabriolet, aircraft, house, money galore, — G-d am I happy, over the moon. I float in transcendence.
Alas, that is a fleeting ecstasy. It’s a pill. Pills’ effect is not lasting.
Health gone, happiness gone.
Job gone, happiness gone. Girl gone, happiness gone. Cabriolet stolen, happiness gone. Aircraft crashed, happiness gone. House repossessed, happiness gone.
Everything gone, happiness gone with it.

Not being happy doesn’t necessarily infer that I am deadly, depressingly unhappy, but to me, not-happiness would be somewhat vegetating along. What’s the point? To get through a crisis and then find happiness?

Isn’t it that the accomplishment after the successful pursuit of pleasure makes us feel happy? Ahh, satisfaction. The consequence of taking a ‘pleasure pill’ is, well, pleasure, and that’s when I’m truly happy.
Uh, that word truly. Rampantly, crazy happy. Really? Or just overboard, cloud-nine walking till the novelty wears off?

Real, lasting, unblemished happiness is the product of the deliberate thought, “I am happy,” without a condition.
There is no “I am happy if… or when…” there just is “I am happy.”
You gotta beeee happy, you can’t find it. You create it by saying that you are. You instantiate, actualize, effect and realize it.

Wait a sec. How can that be? I need my sailboat to be happy. I need my Yorky to be happy. I need, I need…to be happy. You gotta be kidding me with this “I am happy,” unfinished sentence.
Maybe the great sages can be happy without any condition, but I, hmm?

And yet, whenever I think about it, and lately more often, I think being happy is a disposition, like a pizza base. I need to create the base. Tomato, cheese, olives, and artichokes without a base to put on are like pills, but, when you provide the base you have a real meal in your hands.
A base of happiness garnished with the ingredients of my liking. Now my mouth is watering and life is dancing. Scrumptious stuff.
Unattached and still happy, yeah, and then heap on the blessings.
Don’t just think it, say it out loud,

“I am happy, I am happy, I am happy.”

Now I’ve just created the base.
Words are expressively powerful.

Saying “I am happy” eliminates the desperation to find happiness by pursuing evermore garnishings.
Having an unconditionally happy base, being unarguably happy, un-joggle-able, allows me to gather my focus onto that which is important to me. The amusing thing is that suddenly I don’t want a thousand things anymore but literally just a few, — to make a really delicious pizza of my life.

Happiness is such a solidly good base that any decision reached in that state of happiness can only lead to more of the same.

Happiness from outside is makeup. Admittedly beautifying life immensely, but it washes off. Happiness from within is an unshakeable foundation.

Let’s all set our human cruise control to “I am happy.”
Imagine the impact of all us happy people in the world?
Staggering.

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the way of my Life

Rising as a reaction to ruling indifference and indoctrinated acceptance, the question is like a bubble of methane gas released in a swamp. The question comes into existence. The question has a life of its own and a reason to be there.

You’d be moseying along minding some business, probably in semi-automatic mode, and pop, here comes the question:

“Is this the best way I can live my life?”

The question serves to remind us to revisit what we want, — and then compare it with what we have. The wider the discrepancy the more persistent the nagging, to the point where we often become impatient and ignore the question, falling back into inherited mediocrity.

“What am I supposed to do now that I am so deep in it?” you might say.
“I need answers where none are forthcoming and not questions to upset my life even more.”

The question is actually an observation of my own life telling me that the path I am on is not in agreement with what I want. It becomes a billboard above my eyes. Softly interrupting at first, patiently persistent, and eventually pounding me with all the force of pain and frustration when it continues to be ignored. Ultimately, however, even the energy of life will succumb to the anguish of being disregarded and overruled by the mind and retreat into depression and disease.

Why let it get to such a state of stuck desperation?

The moment we acknowledge the message (the billboard) that Life* has, no matter how hopeless we think our situation is, we become our own ENABLER.

When I thus ENABLE, I BELIEVE in Life. My Life.

The only honest, concerned and able guide I have is my Life. Suddenly, as if by some mystical arrangement I will be doing it the way of my Life.
During the times that I follow the way of my Life I am given a limitless view and a feeling of perfect alignment. Nothing is missing. It’s the way. The only way for me, — exclusively only for me. Why? Because I am like none other.
Now the magic happens: I forgive; I am free; I let go; I understand; I help; I decide; I act; I love; I achieve and progress; I create; I win; I am kind; I am complete.

The way of my Life is harmonious and flowing existence. That is happiness. Everything comes together.

In turn, you might have a pertinent question too that you want to ask your Life at the present moment.

Ask: “Life what do you suggest right now?”

Behind the ego and emotion, Life’s answer will be loud and clear.

*Life (with capital ‘L’) an intelligent existence within us with an unbiased concept of our being; an entity or a part of us who guides us to the utmost benefit in the context of our individual super-reality.

It’s chaos, be kind

A quote by the late author Michelle McNamara.

Since I heard it first mentioned by her comedian husband, Patton Oswalt, it’s been like a fishhook, it won’t let go of me.

It’s chaos.
Mayhem, disarray, havoc.

We can argue, and you can “yes but you are so negative,” and “can’t you see the positive things for a change,” …whatever, whatever. I, however, don’t need any more arguments or justifications. Really. When I look just a bit outside my comfort nest the chaos already starts. It becomes frighteningly more chaotic the more and further I look.

Admittedly, there is an immeasurable amount of beauty and wonderful stuff and there is an unfathomable amount of chaos. I don’t even mean the natural state of the universe. I mean the chaos man has created and perpetuates with his mind and ego in the name of anything from religion to power, greed, expansionism, exhibitionism, survival and primeval urges.

All right.
So in my little world, there is no chaos, nor in the worlds of those I associate myself with. I also pot-believe in the critical mass that has swung the scale already in favor of the unchaotic good.
Wonderful blinkers. My head is dug so deep in the sand.
I am such a recluse, living in my mountain wilderness or coastal stilt-log cabin. There, in the natural grandeur and peace, I deal with very different chaos, — not the human annihilating one.

No matter how head-deep-in-the-sand or reclusive I might be, eventually, the energy of chaos will vibrate me out of my oblivion into the contrasting stark reality of now’s chaos.
Eventually, the noise of chaos is even in the water that I drink and sixty percent of my body is high on chaos. Even my virtual world of earphones and screen vibrates to the chaos.

Inescapably I am confronted with chaos and there are times when I even become the personification of chaos. Chaotic is my name, not caring is my game.

To muster the ability and counter chaos with kindness is a remarkable achievement of evolution, of understanding and self-control. That is a deed worthy of headlines, prizes, accolades, and it’s own ‘Noble laureate.’ (Different to the Alfred Bernhard Nobel laureates, — notice the twist in spelling.)

“In the beginning, Man created God.”
Jethro Tull, Aqualung.

It was an ingenious, resourceful idea that has not been surpassed by anything since.
There it suddenly was: this glorious, omnipotent deity. Someone to lump everything onto, blame and exploit. We can now  rinse our hands in ‘innocence.’ We are faultless and ‘It’ is the best-advertised problem coated in the irresistible flavor of a fail-less solution. A marvelous finguck excuse.

It was God. It is God’s doing. It is God’s will. It is for God. My God is the real deal, not yours.
(Replace God with any name that your God is.)
God, God, God.
OMG.

Since then, whenever it was when we created God, we have been spinning and regurgitating this very frigging broken record. Fervently and aggressively we climb onto pulpits and continue to pronounce God’s eternal life by sacrificing even our own lives and others’, — creating ridiculous chaos in the name of a deity we have enthroned and can dethrone any time, — evading responsibility and absolving ourselves in front of this artificial altar instead of taking ownership, accountability and most of all, being kind.

Some interesting people have had words around this subject: Carl Sagan, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawking, Michio Kaku, Stephen Fry, Brain Greene etc. etc. and me and you.

The crucial, pivotal moment in one’s own life is when — without the influence of anyone else and brought on by an incessant lifelong pondering, — we realize that God is not the faulty one but that we are entirely the only ones responsible (for all the chaos) and therefore better start practicing to ‘be kind.’

“It’s chaos…”
Kim Jong-un and well-known others, Syria, Iraq, Turkey, Yemen, Somalia, DRC, Isis, Rohingya, refugees, on&on&on. Discord, suffering, and war on an astronomical scale on our tiny earth.
Chaos on the planet: in countries, in tribes, families, businesses, amongst lovers, in the traffic, at concerts, on the sidewalks, — chaos inside you and me.

“be kind”
Kindness incorporates all attributes of caring, compassion, allowance, understanding, even respect towards everyone and everything. Acting from a basis of kindness enables us to respond in a manner appropriate to the circumstances. The alchemy of kindness converts chaos and aggression into caring.

I got the message to be kind, loud and clear, — did you?

As always, this blog voices my personal thoughts and ideas on subjects and does not mean to offend.

Maybe just do

Maybe it’s not about crazily dreaming and over-revving our vivid imagination, giving in to overwhelming passion, following the gut and the heart in galloping frency, — because we all dream and imagine and have passion and gut feelings and heart cravings and go overboard.

Maybe, in the first instance, it is about dealing with and getting through what has been put in front of us, — without too much fuzz and too many objections and complaints, — getting it done.

Maybe, rather than running or quitting, it is about facing and managing the situation we are in, which, in many cases isn’t even of our own doing. We had no say about the circumstances we were born into, and I don’t for the sake of brevity want to get into a discussion here that we possibly did have a choice. If we did would we be here? Case closed for now.

We are confronted, bombarded, exposed, to a reality that is fact and tangible. Here we are and here it is. Blaming anybody or anything else for it, keeps us stuck in the mud. Expecting a special handout because of x, y or z or a silver spoon feeding us, is like sitting my butt on top of glue. I will be going nowhere.

For many of us it is a royal f…up and for even more, it is unimaginable hardship.

Solace cannot be found in anything else but our own doing! Hear ye!

No big black books or decorated buildings or revered figures change anything in our lives. They provide a moral view or guideline.

Change only happens when we deal with the coalface of reality head-on. That is the horror of the moment, of the day, of our life. It’s the ice-cold truth or simply the frequency of life that we must accept and ride.
Argue against it, resist, deny, it still remains an immutable truth despite our rebellion. It is like gravity, but this time it is the gravity of life, inescapable like any gravity is.

Unfortunately for those of us who have created a view of the world so removed from this reality, so beautified and perfected and sublime, we are the ones in collision with reality every time.
Yeah. Bang. Crash. Ouch.

Sometimes asking questions is the most stupid thing to do. Too many questions have no (plausible) answers. I can’t believe myself saying such. The balance of answers to questions is not achievable in our life-time, — face it or forever suffer. A sure way of going in circles or staying stuck is to ask too many questions.

Halt that process of questioning, instead just do.

For a moment or two just do something about that which is in front of you and about that which you can do something about.

Having a master plan for life is a wonderful idea. Remembering, or understanding that life is a living thing and not a ‘rigid’ project on paper is important, because the scope changes or adjusts, — often.

I remain in the firm belief that this Life inside us knows what is best for us and that our circumstances can be different to what they are now. I also know that our mind and ego are not always our biggest assets but hardcore, MMA-UFC* foes we have to do battle with.

Maybe we should ask more often and then listen intently:

”Life, what do you suggest right now?”

* MMA = Mixed Martial Arts the sport
* UFC = Ultimate Fighting Championship the organization.

Tales of a 2nd world

Camino a Q’eswachaca Peru, Inca bridge,
credit: Atlas obscura

Doesn’t everyone spend time in a 2nd world?
I have seen countless faces with that far away look giving me that impression.
The 2nd world: this realm in my mind where I create unobstructed, with immediate results and where I am simultaneously the actor and spectator.
Indefinably vast in the infinity of its potential it enables me to create and experience anything I dare imagine.

In the 2nd world I am the illimitable explorer, inventor, and achiever and I have woken to its possibilities.

I think the 2nd world has all that which renders my ‘this-here-reality’ complete. It’s an escape when the 1st world sucks. No doubt. But, it is not the world of brooding, wishing, expecting and hoping, it is the place of ‘I can’ and ‘I am’ and of success and accomplishment.
A momentary sidetrack about hoping: — along this arduous, slogging, mundane journey, – and what a painfully descriptive word arduous is, — many will tell you to forget about hoping because it’s a losers verb just like worrying, but it is the heart-born seed of what we want. If hoping stays in that transient stage of wishful thinking, between thought and reality, it might not bear fruit, but if it consumes us and inspires action then it is the catalyst it was designed to be. Hope is a wishing uncertainty of wanting to scale over hurdles that exist when I live in the twilight between the two worlds without a bridge.

In the 2nd world, I always am the greatest me.
In the 1st world, I am still becoming to be.

Before I enter the 1st world, I have already perfected, in the 2nd world, what it is I wanted to be and do.
Miraculously, everything I think of, any task no matter how impossibly impossible, is possible and complete and functioning, — and it’s done.

Wishes originate in the 1st world.
Long before they manifest in the 1st world I already indulge them in the 2nd world, — in the fantasy of them being fulfilled.

What it is that I am right now
is what I want to be
And not what I am led to believe
to be defined for me.

This idea or concept of a life pre-defined and pre-determined does not exist in the 2nd world, because, as I think something, it is done. There is no resistance.
To be under some contractual obligation that defines ones life, but whose memory has been erased as we entered the 1st world, is preposterous, ludicrous, jabberwocky tosh.

When I don’t like what I have embarked on in the 2nd world, I can reverse it and adjust it or change it without penalties or karmic debt, — without any repercussions.

The 1st world is like the front cover of a book, the 2nd world is the thousand page story of glory, and vice versa, because the one always substantiates the other.

In the 2nd world, I can become anyone and even anything I want to be at such breakneck speeds, jumping from being A to B to C, that if I’d tell someone else they’d say I am crayzee.
Everything is in the 2nd world. It is the ‘Land of Is.’

You could experience the sheer immortality of being a rock on a mountain:

“Hear ye, I am the rock called ‘Stone D Forever.'”

…go ahead and try being a rock,
or Maya the bee in a hive full of honey.

Nothing stands in my way in the 2nd world. I can become all that is yet unknown and unthought of, stuff so bizarre and remote, because I can make it up instantly. Preposterous stuff. Insane stuff. I can condense and stretch and blow it up, flex my muscles and bowl the world through ten pins down a galactic alley all in a blink and rewrite the front cover of my book with every page I add inside.
It is a limitless world of expression where the core always remains I, while everything else can change. Here I am the master of time unlike in the 1st world where this relationship is reversed.

There is actually only ONE task for us to accomplish:

— To become bridge builders. —

Build bridges between our worlds.
Connect our worlds so we can traverse, travel and transport at will. Nothing else is of any consequence.

What does your bridge look like?
A gondola pulled by a rope, a six-lane highway, a tunnel, a beam?

Build your bridge first, the rest will follow.

My occupation? Bridge builder. Naturally.

of über-super-consciousness

Would you believe that every once in a while something happens in our life that was born in another reality and filters through into our present-now?
Unless you experience such a contact from the ‘other’ side you could, like me, be largely ignorant of its existence.

What is another reality, if, as we have been taught, there can only be this one?
All my life I have been puzzled by deeper questions which just like my attempts at Rubik’s Cube, have gone unsolved and unanswered by me. And then, one day, you are presented with an indisputable event.

Reality is where I am conscious. Right? Actually yes.

I have irrefutable proof now that there is more to consciousness than I have ever considered it to be. I know it’s lame and scientifically worthless. However, this illuminating experience has made me a convert.

Being so entrenched and absorbed in our reality, where is there time and the will to think about such ‘far-out’ stuff? It’s hard enough to get through another day.
Well, yes. But, amongst everything we do, our thinking occasionally does venture to the fringes. Often that process is advanced by the consumption of some substance(s). However, just to clarify the situation, this is not the case here. I am not criticizing those who do, but, I cannot be both a pilot of an aircraft and a substance user because I need full control of my faculties.

It was a dream and like all of us, I have had many dreams in my life. You wake up and most of the time the dream is quickly forgotten. Nightmares linger on for a bit. A few dreams stay with us for days because of their profound effect.
This dream, as surreal as it seems, has launched an avalanche of deeper questions. Not that I was suffering from a lack of questions or a void of thought material. No, the opposite, but I am now pushed purposely in a direction which was not highlighted so prominently before.

Here goes:
There is another reality, in parallel, where we are also present and cognitively aware and consciously interacting with other (human) beings who we absolutely do not know in this reality: Names of people we have no connection to in this life; dealing with things we have never considered dealing in, in an environment that is foreign to the one we frequent. (This could explain the sheer exhaustion we sometimes inexplicably feel.)
For instance: In this dream, I was mentioning to someone called Ian that I have a Jaguar engine in my store room for his Jaguar. In the dream, I was on friendly terms with Ian, and Sarah and others.
This dream episode does not fit into my life in any way. I don’t drive Jaguars, never had and don’t have any engines either. And Ian, well, pleased to meet you, and Sarah too.
Wow, I do live a whole other life it seems.

Like with any dream, if you don’t catch that tail-end fast enough it disappears out of memory leaving only the impression that you had a ‘cool’ dream, but can’t remember what it was about.

This dream invigorated my thinking and anchored a notion that there is more that we are involved in than with our five senses only. It brought into perspective a concept in my mind that, as we gain greater consciousness, we also realize that we are in more than one place at once. Extrapolated to the extreme, — to limit the size of this post and cut to the scoop — we could be (are) everywhere. In essence saying, that because we are part of everything, we are also present everywhere. This awakened consciousness confronts us with that broader reality and we now see life from that realties’ perspective. Our enlarged consciousness now dawns on us the whole bigger picture as more awareness is assimilated.

There are so many connotations. Next time you do something bear in mind that you could be inflicting something upon yourself because you are part of everything. You are also part of some stuff you don’t like. I don’t know how that works exactly but the idea certainly comes to mind and the willful force to change it. I think as our consciousness grows it could be like a magnet or a strong current aligning everything in a ‘good’ way. Huh, hopefully.

Consciousness is the totality we are. In our mind, we frequently separate and isolate ourselves from everything and everywhere. Supreme consciousness leads us to become Übermensch (to borrow from Nietzsche) and superman (to borrow from Sri Aurobindo).

I think I think, I think.

Man cannot be final, he is a transitional being; his imperfect life and consciousness must develop itself into the type of the fully conscious being, after man or out of him must be born the superman.
Sri Aurobindo

Appassionare

Impassioned and dreamy to live,
the one-way lane to bliss

Drudgery and mundanity boredom gives

Failure be a toxic recipe
Mute, the soul seeks therapy

In passion lies life’s ecstasy

But what do you do if your passion doesn’t get you to that bliss?

You’ve immersed yourself in playing music, enjoyed every note, and you clearly don’t have it.
You write, you come alive, and you are mediocre at best, — on an inspired day.
You are painting and your art fulfills you like nothing else, and it doesn’t raise an eyebrow, least of all sell.

You do stuff that captivates and absorbs you, that you love, but never is there a financial reward or even a pat on the back.
You follow your passion constantly but you can’t make a living.

The search for a passionate solution is consuming you.

You are not level headed and will never be, — so help you gee oh dee.

You start doubting passion.
Something has to work, — desperately by now, and intrinsically you know it can only work if passion is present, yet it doesn’t happen.

You have more than one passion, oh definitely yes.
You are an appasionata or an appasionato.

You can’t find the One thing that tops them all.
Maybe you do but for whatever reason, you have to find the next best.
Can there ever be a next best? Will passion tolerate being ordered, sorted, prioritized, delayed?

You think you know what your passion is and where it lies, but, you also think you don’t.
Sometimes you even think: “What is passion? What am I passionate about?”

You back off because your passion is too far fetched. It surpasses even your belief with its imaginative enactment.

You question if passion is maybe the devils trick to lure you into his quarters and then again you think it’s a God given gift.

You ponder the idea that it’s too late to follow your passion.

Disillusion and disappointment mount as passion eludes you. Resigned, life becomes dull and thoughts start flirting with a philosophical question.

You always thought that passion was the only real certainty worth pursuing and now you are the laughing stock of all your ghosts.

Are you the doomed one?
Are you the example that others use to point out the senselessness of trying to follow one’s passion(s) instead of doing something ‘real’?

Should one perhaps pair one’s passion ‘to do something’ with one’s fascination ‘of something’? Could the search then be finally over?

Sometimes,
amongst all the noise we create,
we don’t hear the divine music within.