moment of knowing

catamaran1.jpg

Unless you are alone one day
truly lonesome alone

so lonely that you break open

You will not find
what is important

and meaningful

in your sojurn
within the human shell
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moongalaxy

moongalaxy

I am,
or at least I thought I was

I also thought I was,
turns out I wasn’t

‘It’ was
‘It’ was sometimes me

Who was me?
Sometimes I

I am,
or at least I thought I was

 

uncentered

Cloudman why are you waving at me?

Is there something I don’t see?

cloudman

I am nothing

I am clueless

I am lost

 

No cheque in the post

Fruitless attempts to summit my life, oh yes

Contempt with insanity’s grin

 

Decades have rolled on

Overgrown now the paths I once ventured

Blinded and stuck on some, —  far too long

Sometimes it really feels that I’m done

 

Now, time is called the ‘aftermath’

That little left should be made to last

Create the antecedent of tomorrow

Leave out today’s horror,

relegate that to the past

 

Nothing: is all that matters

Clueless: the more the better

Lost: is the prize not the cost

 

Pizza-base of happiness

What is (longterm) happiness reliant on?
On me being happy of course.
However, basing happiness on something/someone has a catch. When that something disappears, happiness goes with it.
Soever a bad idea.

Definitely, happiness is amped when I have what I want, and I wouldn’t want to live without what I wanted because that makes me happy.
Want – have – happiness, not-happiness, want – have – happiness, not-happiness, want …
The frequency of life. Roll-er-coast-er.

I pursue happiness. I run after it. Sometimes I catch it. I find that ‘…happiness…’ and I am ecstatically happy. Forever. Yeah really! — ?
I’ve got health, job, girl, cabriolet, aircraft, house, money galore, — G-d am I happy, over the moon. I float in transcendence.
Alas, that is a fleeting ecstasy. It’s a pill. Pills’ effect is not lasting.
Health gone, happiness gone.
Job gone, happiness gone. Girl gone, happiness gone. Cabriolet stolen, happiness gone. Aircraft crashed, happiness gone. House repossessed, happiness gone.
Everything gone, happiness gone with it.

Not being happy doesn’t necessarily infer that I am deadly, depressingly unhappy, but to me, not-happiness would be somewhat vegetating along. What’s the point? To get through a crisis and then find happiness?

Isn’t it that the accomplishment after the successful pursuit of pleasure makes us feel happy? Ahh, satisfaction. The consequence of taking a ‘pleasure pill’ is, well, pleasure, and that’s when I’m truly happy.
Uh, that word truly. Rampantly, crazy happy. Really? Or just overboard, cloud-nine walking till the novelty wears off?

Real, lasting, unblemished happiness is the product of the deliberate thought, “I am happy,” without a condition.
There is no “I am happy if… or when…” there just is “I am happy.”
You gotta beeee happy, you can’t find it. You create it by saying that you are. You instantiate, actualize, effect and realize it.

Wait a sec. How can that be? I need my sailboat to be happy. I need my Yorky to be happy. I need, I need…to be happy. You gotta be kidding me with this “I am happy,” unfinished sentence.
Maybe the great sages can be happy without any condition, but I, hmm?

And yet, whenever I think about it, and lately more often, I think being happy is a disposition, like a pizza base. I need to create the base. Tomato, cheese, olives, and artichokes without a base to put on are like pills, but, when you provide the base you have a real meal in your hands.
A base of happiness garnished with the ingredients of my liking. Now my mouth is watering and life is dancing. Scrumptious stuff.
Unattached and still happy, yeah, and then heap on the blessings.
Don’t just think it, say it out loud,

“I am happy, I am happy, I am happy.”

Now I’ve just created the base.
Words are expressively powerful.

Saying “I am happy” eliminates the desperation to find happiness by pursuing evermore garnishings.
Having an unconditionally happy base, being unarguably happy, un-joggle-able, allows me to gather my focus onto that which is important to me. The amusing thing is that suddenly I don’t want a thousand things anymore but literally just a few, — to make a really delicious pizza of my life.

Happiness is such a solidly good base that any decision reached in that state of happiness can only lead to more of the same.

Happiness from outside is makeup. Admittedly beautifying life immensely, but it washes off. Happiness from within is an unshakeable foundation.

Let’s all set our human cruise control to “I am happy.”
Imagine the impact of all us happy people in the world?
Staggering.

the way of my Life

Rising as a reaction to ruling indifference and indoctrinated acceptance, the question is like a bubble of methane gas released in a swamp. The question comes into existence. The question has a life of its own and a reason to be there.

You’d be moseying along minding some business, probably in semi-automatic mode, and pop, here comes the question:

“Is this the best way I can live my life?”

The question serves to remind us to revisit what we want, — and then compare it with what we have. The wider the discrepancy the more persistent the nagging, to the point where we often become impatient and ignore the question, falling back into inherited mediocrity.

“What am I supposed to do now that I am so deep in it?” you might say.
“I need answers where none are forthcoming and not questions to upset my life even more.”

The question is actually an observation of my own life telling me that the path I am on is not in agreement with what I want. It becomes a billboard above my eyes. Softly interrupting at first, patiently persistent, and eventually pounding me with all the force of pain and frustration when it continues to be ignored. Ultimately, however, even the energy of life will succumb to the anguish of being disregarded and overruled by the mind and retreat into depression and disease.

Why let it get to such a state of stuck desperation?

The moment we acknowledge the message (the billboard) that Life* has, no matter how hopeless we think our situation is, we become our own ENABLER.

When I thus ENABLE, I BELIEVE in Life. My Life.

The only honest, concerned and able guide I have is my Life. Suddenly, as if by some mystical arrangement I will be doing it the way of my Life.
During the times that I follow the way of my Life I am given a limitless view and a feeling of perfect alignment. Nothing is missing. It’s the way. The only way for me, — exclusively only for me. Why? Because I am like none other.
Now the magic happens: I forgive; I am free; I let go; I understand; I help; I decide; I act; I love; I achieve and progress; I create; I win; I am kind; I am complete.

The way of my Life is harmonious and flowing existence. That is happiness. Everything comes together.

In turn, you might have a pertinent question too that you want to ask your Life at the present moment.

Ask: “Life what do you suggest right now?”

Behind the ego and emotion, Life’s answer will be loud and clear.

*Life (with capital ‘L’) an intelligent existence within us with an unbiased concept of our being; an entity or a part of us who guides us to the utmost benefit in the context of our individual super-reality.