Rechtfertigung – Justification

Sometimes thoughts use another language.
English translation is a few stanza's down.

Der Gräuel der Rechtfertigung
Wahnsinn und Unsinn
Unser Schweigen
 noch mehr Dunkelheit
 belastet mit Schuld

Ich bin dabei
 mit Augen nur, nicht mit Herz
Abscheuliches reißt an meiner Seele
 und doch stehe auch ich mitten drin

Ich schaue zu und baue Worte
Auf dem Grund fließt das Blut
Schreie wie damals
Die Schatten der Rache
Erbrechen von Säure und Hass
Gestern mit Messern
 und Schwertern und Gas,
 heute mit Kugeln
 und jetzt mach ich Dich tot!

Weg mit Euch allen!
 Unmenschlichkeit!
 Teufelsbrut!
Niemand ist Farbenblind
 und doch ist alles schwarz-weiß
Mein Gott sagt dies
 und meiner sagt das

Wenn Du, dann Ich auch
 wenn nicht, dann trotzdem
Vernichten, Alle und das System

Gelehrte Insassen
 reiche getrieben bei Macht,
 sie erobern uns
 wie das Vieh auf dem Weg zur Schlacht

Ich kämpfe zurück
Meine Stimme erbricht
Ein Leben, ein Wunsch,
 die Freiheit, ein Land

Ihr nehmt von mir
Aber ich habe doch nichts
Ich flehe
Besinnt Euch
Wacht auf
Meine Kugeln sind Tränen
Meine Bomben das Wort

Streck aus Deine Hand
Lass fallen die Axt
Es geht um die Menschheit
— nicht Gott, Ihr tapferen Krieger
 und nicht um den eigenen Akt

+++++++++===========+++++++++

The disgrace of justification
Insanity and nonsense
Our silence
 creating even more darkness
 loaded with guilt

I am part,
 with my eyes but not my heart
Horrid forces tear my soul
 while I stand amidst the turmoil

I watch and build words
On the ground the blood flows
Screams of the past
Shadows of revenge
Vomition of acid and hate
Yesterday it was knifes and swords
 and gas,
 today it's the bullet
 and I will kill you!

Cease ye to exist!
Barbarians!
Devils disciples!
No one is colour-blind
And yet all is black and white
My G_d says this
 and my G_d says that

If you do, then I will too
If you don’t I will still do
Annihilate all, and the system too

The learned
 and those driven by power,
 they conquer us,
 like livestock destined for the abattoir

I fight back
My voice breaks
One life, a wish,
 freedom,
 and a country of my own

You take from me
But what do I have?
I plead
Please rethink your actions
Wake up
My bullets are tears
My bombs are words

Reach out your hand
Let go of that axe
This is about humanity
 not the kingdom of G_d,
You are all brave soldiers,
 no need to fight
 and this is not your final Act

Defrost

pain-smoke-death

My heart screams. My brain finds no rest.

I have to speak out, and simultaneously I condemn any ridiculous arguments that attempt to justify harming even ONE human being in the process.
(i.e. It is absurd to assume that everyone nearing the fence in the Gaza strip is a Hamas terrorist?)

I see mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters and loved ones in hellish agony. All of this has found echo in my head. Images of the affected in this progressive hate saga between Israelis & Palestinians continually interrupt my whole stream of consciousness when awake and asleep.

The future is for the young first, and only then it is for the rest of us. Alas, there is no future in this case. There is only hate and pain and segregation. Known also as Apartheid, this system forcefully singles out a group of people in the most demeaning, derogatory, insensitive, insulting and inhumane way. As is proven once more here, such systems are upheld by the powerful and the victims are depicted as the villains, who one has to be protected from at all cost, even by murder.

The world is mostly ruled by the old and stubborn who don’t waver from their stance and who continually garner support for what they think is the rightful cause, bending the ear of those who elected them.

When rulers bring war and destruction and hate instead of wisdom, love and peace, then you know they are the wrong leaders.

My roots reach deep into two countries: South Africa and Germany. Both have experienced the worst of humanity. The rainbow also doesn’t shine every day in our rainbow nation but the rainbow will forever be in our minds when we remember the atrocities of the past.

An answer can never be found in war, fences, concentration camps and human abuse.

Also, no answers are found when these leaders sit together because they will never agree as long as they insist on playing chess.

The solution lies with the young and innocent and the dreamers, thinkers and innovators.
They have to sit together and define what they want because the world belongs to them, and not to the warring, dead of conscience fanatics tainted with the brush of history, self-righteousness and other ills.

Analysing history, as we are known to do, should teach us how to deal with the future. Why don’t we get it?
All naysayers out there have a closer look at the miraculous, peaceful transformation of South Africa.

Where there is a will there is a way!

What is immediately required is a human bridge, an influx of support from all nations to stand with the oppressed, confused and petrified.

“Bring the future back to those who have lost it.”

I call on all in the world, young and old, to do this for those who suffer.

The promise of life only exists if you have a future.

“A denied future is dead life.”

Could any conscience live with such a thought any longer than a moment, let alone decades?

Let there be a human curtain made out of every living fabric that says: ‘Stop and change.’
Dismantle the barricades, the obstructions, the walls and fences and melt the ice of the frozen.

The time to forcefully exclude and deny has no space in the 21st century.

Here is an appeal to the big operators, profit-machines, life-changers, innovators and altruists and philanthropists, to dedicate a paragraph in a chapter of their book in their life to aid in solving this human catastrophe now. The affected parties can’t solve it: the UN can’t, and other nations can’t but the people of the world can. Some things are beyond governing bodies; they are in the individual hands of humanity across all and any divide.

This is an appeal to all the young and spirited and compassionate, — who cannot sleep another night just like I at 0230 this morning, — to create a tsunami, an avalanche, an eruption of change through their presence and their voice.

Let the airlines offer free tickets for this human cause. Let the food companies and all industries that make huge profits provide shelter and food for those heeding the cause.

Let it be a humanitarian evolution. Call it the Sunrise of Humanity. Let all nations congregate where weapons currently decide human fate. Let the flags of 190+ nations stare down any aggression from either side.

Will you shoot my flag?

May every soldier with a weapon become aware not only of the responsibility to his country/people but also the responsibility to humanity.

Could you bear the burden for the rest of your life of being a traitor to any one of them?

Let us be part of this movement lest we want to be judged for non-action when our conscience faces its last breath.

Do something. Anything. Everybody, do it. Make music, write, paint, go there…,we have to roll that drama over and bring those, who had the unimaginable happen in the life of their ancestors, to the realization of their inhumane actions. History is wagging a very irritated finger.

My old Zulu friend Jameson ‘Umkuhlu’ Mthembu speaks from deep within his wise soul when he says,

umkuhlu1

 

 

“Don’t put a fridge by your heart,”

 

 

 

…not for longer than a few hours or at most a day or two.

“Everyone:  your time is up,”

that is quite obvious to all and yourself.

One of the critical human lessons and actions towards progress is that you have to put ‘stuff’ behind you in order to move forward. — Do it!

It is time to defrost.

*Picture from AFP on http://www.spiegel.de

uncentered

Cloudman why are you waving at me?

Is there something I don’t see?

cloudman

I am nothing

I am clueless

I am lost

 

No cheque in the post

Fruitless attempts to summit my life, oh yes

Contempt with insanity’s grin

 

Decades have rolled on

Overgrown now the paths I once ventured

Blinded and stuck on some, —  far too long

Sometimes it really feels that I’m done

 

Now, time is called the ‘aftermath’

That little left should be made to last

Create the antecedent of tomorrow

Leave out today’s horror,

relegate that to the past

 

Nothing: is all that matters

Clueless: the more the better

Lost: is the prize not the cost

 

Pizza-base of happiness

What is (longterm) happiness reliant on?
On me being happy of course.
However, basing happiness on something/someone has a catch. When that something disappears, happiness goes with it.
Soever a bad idea.

Definitely, happiness is amped when I have what I want, and I wouldn’t want to live without what I wanted because that makes me happy.
Want – have – happiness, not-happiness, want – have – happiness, not-happiness, want …
The frequency of life. Roll-er-coast-er.

I pursue happiness. I run after it. Sometimes I catch it. I find that ‘…happiness…’ and I am ecstatically happy. Forever. Yeah really! — ?
I’ve got health, job, girl, cabriolet, aircraft, house, money galore, — G-d am I happy, over the moon. I float in transcendence.
Alas, that is a fleeting ecstasy. It’s a pill. Pills’ effect is not lasting.
Health gone, happiness gone.
Job gone, happiness gone. Girl gone, happiness gone. Cabriolet stolen, happiness gone. Aircraft crashed, happiness gone. House repossessed, happiness gone.
Everything gone, happiness gone with it.

Not being happy doesn’t necessarily infer that I am deadly, depressingly unhappy, but to me, not-happiness would be somewhat vegetating along. What’s the point? To get through a crisis and then find happiness?

Isn’t it that the accomplishment after the successful pursuit of pleasure makes us feel happy? Ahh, satisfaction. The consequence of taking a ‘pleasure pill’ is, well, pleasure, and that’s when I’m truly happy.
Uh, that word truly. Rampantly, crazy happy. Really? Or just overboard, cloud-nine walking till the novelty wears off?

Real, lasting, unblemished happiness is the product of the deliberate thought, “I am happy,” without a condition.
There is no “I am happy if… or when…” there just is “I am happy.”
You gotta beeee happy, you can’t find it. You create it by saying that you are. You instantiate, actualize, effect and realize it.

Wait a sec. How can that be? I need my sailboat to be happy. I need my Yorky to be happy. I need, I need…to be happy. You gotta be kidding me with this “I am happy,” unfinished sentence.
Maybe the great sages can be happy without any condition, but I, hmm?

And yet, whenever I think about it, and lately more often, I think being happy is a disposition, like a pizza base. I need to create the base. Tomato, cheese, olives, and artichokes without a base to put on are like pills, but, when you provide the base you have a real meal in your hands.
A base of happiness garnished with the ingredients of my liking. Now my mouth is watering and life is dancing. Scrumptious stuff.
Unattached and still happy, yeah, and then heap on the blessings.
Don’t just think it, say it out loud,

“I am happy, I am happy, I am happy.”

Now I’ve just created the base.
Words are expressively powerful.

Saying “I am happy” eliminates the desperation to find happiness by pursuing evermore garnishings.
Having an unconditionally happy base, being unarguably happy, un-joggle-able, allows me to gather my focus onto that which is important to me. The amusing thing is that suddenly I don’t want a thousand things anymore but literally just a few, — to make a really delicious pizza of my life.

Happiness is such a solidly good base that any decision reached in that state of happiness can only lead to more of the same.

Happiness from outside is makeup. Admittedly beautifying life immensely, but it washes off. Happiness from within is an unshakeable foundation.

Let’s all set our human cruise control to “I am happy.”
Imagine the impact of all us happy people in the world?
Staggering.

the way of my Life

Rising as a reaction to ruling indifference and indoctrinated acceptance, the question is like a bubble of methane gas released in a swamp. The question comes into existence. The question has a life of its own and a reason to be there.

You’d be moseying along minding some business, probably in semi-automatic mode, and pop, here comes the question:

“Is this the best way I can live my life?”

The question serves to remind us to revisit what we want, — and then compare it with what we have. The wider the discrepancy the more persistent the nagging, to the point where we often become impatient and ignore the question, falling back into inherited mediocrity.

“What am I supposed to do now that I am so deep in it?” you might say.
“I need answers where none are forthcoming and not questions to upset my life even more.”

The question is actually an observation of my own life telling me that the path I am on is not in agreement with what I want. It becomes a billboard above my eyes. Softly interrupting at first, patiently persistent, and eventually pounding me with all the force of pain and frustration when it continues to be ignored. Ultimately, however, even the energy of life will succumb to the anguish of being disregarded and overruled by the mind and retreat into depression and disease.

Why let it get to such a state of stuck desperation?

The moment we acknowledge the message (the billboard) that Life* has, no matter how hopeless we think our situation is, we become our own ENABLER.

When I thus ENABLE, I BELIEVE in Life. My Life.

The only honest, concerned and able guide I have is my Life. Suddenly, as if by some mystical arrangement I will be doing it the way of my Life.
During the times that I follow the way of my Life I am given a limitless view and a feeling of perfect alignment. Nothing is missing. It’s the way. The only way for me, — exclusively only for me. Why? Because I am like none other.
Now the magic happens: I forgive; I am free; I let go; I understand; I help; I decide; I act; I love; I achieve and progress; I create; I win; I am kind; I am complete.

The way of my Life is harmonious and flowing existence. That is happiness. Everything comes together.

In turn, you might have a pertinent question too that you want to ask your Life at the present moment.

Ask: “Life what do you suggest right now?”

Behind the ego and emotion, Life’s answer will be loud and clear.

*Life (with capital ‘L’) an intelligent existence within us with an unbiased concept of our being; an entity or a part of us who guides us to the utmost benefit in the context of our individual super-reality.

It’s chaos, be kind

A quote by the late author Michelle McNamara.

Since I heard it first mentioned by her comedian husband, Patton Oswalt, it’s been like a fishhook, it won’t let go of me.

It’s chaos.
Mayhem, disarray, havoc.

We can argue, and you can “yes but you are so negative,” and “can’t you see the positive things for a change,” …whatever, whatever. I, however, don’t need any more arguments or justifications. Really. When I look just a bit outside my comfort nest the chaos already starts. It becomes frighteningly more chaotic the more and further I look.

Admittedly, there is an immeasurable amount of beauty and wonderful stuff and there is an unfathomable amount of chaos. I don’t even mean the natural state of the universe. I mean the chaos man has created and perpetuates with his mind and ego in the name of anything from religion to power, greed, expansionism, exhibitionism, survival and primeval urges.

All right.
So in my little world, there is no chaos, nor in the worlds of those I associate myself with. I also pot-believe in the critical mass that has swung the scale already in favor of the unchaotic good.
Wonderful blinkers. My head is dug so deep in the sand.
I am such a recluse, living in my mountain wilderness or coastal stilt-log cabin. There, in the natural grandeur and peace, I deal with very different chaos, — not the human annihilating one.

No matter how head-deep-in-the-sand or reclusive I might be, eventually, the energy of chaos will vibrate me out of my oblivion into the contrasting stark reality of now’s chaos.
Eventually, the noise of chaos is even in the water that I drink and sixty percent of my body is high on chaos. Even my virtual world of earphones and screen vibrates to the chaos.

Inescapably I am confronted with chaos and there are times when I even become the personification of chaos. Chaotic is my name, not caring is my game.

To muster the ability and counter chaos with kindness is a remarkable achievement of evolution, of understanding and self-control. That is a deed worthy of headlines, prizes, accolades, and it’s own ‘Noble laureate.’ (Different to the Alfred Bernhard Nobel laureates, — notice the twist in spelling.)

“In the beginning, Man created God.”
Jethro Tull, Aqualung.

It was an ingenious, resourceful idea that has not been surpassed by anything since.
There it suddenly was: this glorious, omnipotent deity. Someone to lump everything onto, blame and exploit. We can now  rinse our hands in ‘innocence.’ We are faultless and ‘It’ is the best-advertised problem coated in the irresistible flavor of a fail-less solution. A marvelous finguck excuse.

It was God. It is God’s doing. It is God’s will. It is for God. My God is the real deal, not yours.
(Replace God with any name that your God is.)
God, God, God.
OMG.

Since then, whenever it was when we created God, we have been spinning and regurgitating this very frigging broken record. Fervently and aggressively we climb onto pulpits and continue to pronounce God’s eternal life by sacrificing even our own lives and others’, — creating ridiculous chaos in the name of a deity we have enthroned and can dethrone any time, — evading responsibility and absolving ourselves in front of this artificial altar instead of taking ownership, accountability and most of all, being kind.

Some interesting people have had words around this subject: Carl Sagan, Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Stephen Hawking, Michio Kaku, Stephen Fry, Brain Greene etc. etc. and me and you.

The crucial, pivotal moment in one’s own life is when — without the influence of anyone else and brought on by an incessant lifelong pondering, — we realize that God is not the faulty one but that we are entirely the only ones responsible (for all the chaos) and therefore better start practicing to ‘be kind.’

“It’s chaos…”
Kim Jong-un and well-known others, Syria, Iraq, Turkey, Yemen, Somalia, DRC, Isis, Rohingya, refugees, on&on&on. Discord, suffering, and war on an astronomical scale on our tiny earth.
Chaos on the planet: in countries, in tribes, families, businesses, amongst lovers, in the traffic, at concerts, on the sidewalks, — chaos inside you and me.

“be kind”
Kindness incorporates all attributes of caring, compassion, allowance, understanding, even respect towards everyone and everything. Acting from a basis of kindness enables us to respond in a manner appropriate to the circumstances. The alchemy of kindness converts chaos and aggression into caring.

I got the message to be kind, loud and clear, — did you?

As always, this blog voices my personal thoughts and ideas on subjects and does not mean to offend.