Would it make me ‘controlling’ if I am in control?
There is, at least to me, a parcel of negative connotation with this concept of controlling. Is that just my impression?
“You have to control everything.”
I’ve heard those words before.
But you have to be in control else you are not defining the direction you are moving towards and you would lose control, – of everything eventually, slipping towards chaos.
So just an atom of control. A thought of control. Just a fragment of a drop, much less than a pinch because then it becomes pinchingly ‘controlling’ again.
Every person should be the architect, artisan, forger of their own life. Controlling their life. Many are not. For a myriad of reasons.
Once you are in control you have power to define outcome. Addiction to the product of control clouds the clarity of mind, – you misinterpret feedback and you lose control, unwittingly, unwillingly.
Then you yank the ‘control-stick’ for more control, but you have upset the balance already. You might have to eat humble pie or in pilots terms lower the nose to drop a bit so you get straight and level again.
Sometimes you have to lose control to gain control and you’ll learn quickly that rigid and uncompromising hanging on to, forcing of control, messes stuff up.
Some hang-on till something breaks or gives. I could cite many examples: politicians, – and even myself.
We can be in control and not come across as controlling. Fine adjustments and conscious, mindful evaluation of the continuous feedback from our actions will keep us on our track.
Visualize a ballet dancer, gymnast or Yogi, – they are in perfect control. Watch the movement of a bird or cat, – they are in perfect control.
It leads me to the observation that being in control is (can become) quite automatic while controlling is enforced.
And that in the end makes the big difference.