I want new stuff to happen to me.
Specifically new stuff that is part of my plan for my life, – not random, default existential stuff.
I do know for one that it’s good to have a plan. A plan replaces any default, ‘let me make it through another day’. A plan is a vision of ‘something’ from nothing. I plan new stuff not old stuff.
But I question: why does nothing new happen to me? I mean it’s not for lack of having a plan. It’s not for a lack of ideas or wanting.
Seeing there is nothing happening there must be something else.I am puzzled.
This ‘nothing happening’ manifests as a stuck-ness. It feels like the flow of my life is obstructed. There is a lid on my pot.
In search for answers I dig around and sift through philosophies and belief systems and flavours of the month. I listen to gurus, sages, Elon Musk and Steve Jobs. I read Robin Sharma and Wayne Dyer. I change my diet, drink water, sleep enough, get up at dawn, meditate and exercise and stretch. I Feng Shui the house, love my plants, walk barefoot on the dew in the morning and grow my hair, – I change everything for a new start, a new life and for new stuff to happen to me.
But it doesn’t. Nothing happens.
Yeah, certainly, I feel so much better and healthy. I have tons more energy. I am stronger than before.
And then one morning during meditation I found the answer.
I am lost in the old.
Because I am lost I am also clueless of how to change my status quo.
There is so much old that there is no ‘space’ for the new. I have amassed tons of old stuff in my head. I need to do some mind-clearing. House-clearing is of course also not a bad idea while I am at it. It’s like my hangar is full but I want a new aeroplane. My pantry is chockablock but I want a new dish. I can’t even see and I don’t even know what I have anymore but I know that my life has become unbearably heavy. I am chained down by old rules, concepts, beliefs, hangups, mindsets, practices. I can’t fit another thing no matter how much I want it, into my life.
Forthwith, in this realisation, I am asking of myself to make space for the new that I want, by ridding me of the old that has no more purpose going fupwards (forward and upwards).