died it

He believed, then doubted, then died it

 
Creativity was his door to become more

Poetry and prose were the tears that he cried,

  and he toiled with the question:

What was it all for?

 

Doubt was the dust

  infiltrating even his purest intention

Now he lies spent like rain in the grass,

  tears on a tissue, lipstick on a glass

Not even the universe affords him attention

 

He always believed too much,

  and proof was never important as such

If he liked it, he deemed it to be true,

  even if experts were cleverer and knew

 

His world, perhaps, was slightly askew

 

Belief was like a train:

Up front the idea, creditability and fame

…so far so good

Followed by wagons of responsibilities,

  too many to name

…that was the drudge

Suddenly a yardstick emerged

  with which he was judged (his ideas)

 

Yes, he believed a lot

But, certainly didn’t want to be put on the spot

  for that which he called ‘the smoke from his pot’

It wasn’t religion or philosophy or such,

  they were ideas,

  life’s attempts at art with a smudge

 

Believing was more like following a trail

Not weighing each thought or step on a scale

T'was an indication of an approximate direction,

  and was prone to frequent correction

 

Believing and doubting were forever composing,

One minute blissfully flying over harmonies crest,

  euphorically losing control in the zest

and then,

  crashing into the trough of Wagner’s gloomiest best

He was cog and engine in a perpetually opposing quest

 

Shattered belief, triumphant doubt,

  sometimes one or the other acted out

A farmer of conflict, a dreamer of hope,

  ever the next wave of life should puzzle it out

 

Liberally sown by doubt the seeds of conflict abound

That’s why believing in dreams is so very allowed

But,
 
  dreams are also the food 

  which conflict gobbles to sprout

  and once it has grown

  it smothers the dreams

  so they lose the belief in their own

 

If life was nurtured by believing in dreams,

  no matter how irrational they seemed

and doubt destroys them with such might

  undoubdetly, he thought, he had just died
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keep on seeing

Zambia 2007 1247

 

Seeing ‘nothing’ unhinges me. Seeing ‘something’ grounds me. And yet, often I want to see ‘nothing’ or hear ‘nothing,’ even think ‘nothing.’ Perhaps that is why so much of ‘nothing’ happens in my life. Nothing actually brings a whole horde of undesirable things with it if you’re not vigilant. Clueless and lost are just a few.
Unless a pilot is qualified and the aircraft equipped, flying into ‘nothing’ generally means you have about twenty seconds before it all goes pear shaped and ends in disaster. In aviation speak they would say you have flown into Instrument conditions. So amongst other things, ‘nothing’ is actually also dangerous.

Seeing means stability.

Seeing however goes so much further than the physical sense of seeing with the eyes. We construct images before our m-eye (mind eye) too, when we think.
Remember the phrase ‘as far as the eye can see? Well, we all know that there is something beyond what the eye can see too. All you have to do is climb on a chair and suddenly you see so much more, and so on, and then of course there is all the ethereal stuff.
Now I close my eyes and I think. First I think of stuff that is tangibly real and that I have seen before. But, soon enough, letting my thoughts take wings, I think of stuff that is more and more far-fetched. I see stuff that defies laws of physics because I have left the physical realm. No matter where I am though, I always see.

In a sense I would like to say that seeing is being.

Just as I know that there is so much more to see which I can’t see from my present position surely I can also know that there is so much more to think which I am not thinking from my current standpoint. And we all know that there is so much more to know which we don’t know.
Knowing all the above, surely I can then postulate: that in everything in my life there is more to it than what I see at this moment, more than meets the eye.
It stands to reason then that all I need to do is shift my position to see more and different and think more and different.

And seeing is believing.

In other words even if I see it in my m-eye, in my thoughts, I can believe it. Often what I see in my mind is ‘unrealistic stuff,’ but it is only so because I measure it with the yardstick of what is possible in my physical reality and as I have just seen, just because something isn’t visible (climb onto the chair) doesn’t mean it doesn’t/can’t exist and be seen.
While my favourite is to say, ‘keep on dreaming,’ for those with the feet somewhat firmer on the ground I’ll say, ‘keep on seeing.’