trust who?

Hah, should you find time to think about it, in this frantic life we have gotten ourselves into: who do you trust?
Trust? You can’t trust anybody these days. You can’t trust anything.
Family and loved ones can deceive you. Buildings can collapse. Ships capsize. Airliners crash. Storms wreak havoc, hackers hack, wars start…
Goodness gracious, in this light can I really talk about trust?

You’d be lucky to get through the day unscathed and then you have a whole life to navigate still. That’s days x days x days cubed. Huh.
It’s not like I can say, “Stop,” I need time to think. Once I live life, it demands all my attention.

But what has puzzled me for so long is that I can’t give attention to all of life all the time, treading over it as if it was a path full of thorns. I mean, I have to get on with living and split my attention between a lot of things and sometimes focus to such an extent that I haven’t got time to concentrate on living. What do I do now? What do I do now most of the time?

I hope.
I hope all will be well. What’s this all? Well, everything in my life. Health, security, income, kids, house, dogs, cats, loved ones. Boy do I hope a lot. I’m a hope-machine! I do more hoping than probably most other things I do and the stuff I am hoping about is dearly important. And then I hope for other stuff too, stuff I don’t really have yet. I hope for a new …, a better …, a stronger …, a faster …. Much of my life hangs under the umbrella of hope. It better be made of titanium-silk and be enormous because I have a lot of hopes.
Where does this ‘hope’ thing come from? Who coined it? Why on earth would I want to hang my life onto something that gives no guarantee?

I have decided to stop hoping because there is no certainty in hope!
I mean look at it this way. Would you fly with an airline that tells you, “Mr Nothing we hope …,” or would you not prefer an airline that says “Mr Nothing we will …!”
Too many times I have sat in an aircraft seat being told “We hope …,” or thinking “I hope …,” and I have accepted it because statistically that hope is like a guarantee. But it was still only a hope. A hope in the sky. Pie in the sky?

Hoping throughout my life is a ‘maybe,’ or ‘maybe not’ affair. Yes an affair. Not a serious relationship. With it I can’t be 100% sure, but I want to be sure, – for sure. I actually want to know unequivocally. This barrel-organ of hope which I wind up all the time is a royal pain. I don’t know who taught me that and it doesn’t matter anymore either because I decided I’m over it now.

I concluded that from now on I will trust. Hope is out. Trust is in.
I’ve evolved from nothing. That means, for me to be here now there have been many before me in my lineage. I’ve come a long way. We all have. Apart from everything else that this ‘greater history’ of me has produced it has created an instinct of survival. An instinct to make the right decisions. A capability to trust myself.
I trust. I trust that I know. I believe. I can see clearly. I expect without doubt. I can and I know. That is certainty. Everything else is a ballon that can pop. I don’t want to embark on something and it go’s pop.
Now I have a guarantee. That is positive living. I trust me. Not some ‘hope promise’ out there which I have no control over.
I have been confused by hoping instead of trusting. I am here because I can and all that ability is within me and it is underlined by my trust in myself.
Modern life has confused or even obliterated that ability to trust, that inbred instinct to do the right thing, that gut feel.
I don’t trust my mind and it’s bubbles or my heart and it’s aches anymore. I am getting back to trusting that feeling in my middle. That is my center, my core, – my gut-feel.
I trust me from now on!

 

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One thought on “trust who?

  1. Idoni says:

    Yes, I totally agree. Trust is a much more powerful feeling than hope.

    Liked by 1 person

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